Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

To our troops, both active and retired, those living and whose lives have been sacrificed in the line of duty, and to all of their families who support them day in and day out, thank you for your service. Thank you so very, very much.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Trying to Find the Backdoor

Not being in a position to receive an offer for August is maddening, even when I've told myself countless times that I need to wait at least until October before I start getting my hopes up. I still emailed Pat Evans last night and asked that I be considered for any late additions to a class. While I may reside in Texas, I'd be happy to take a page from Kolbi's book and sprint to DC if a spot became available. I have done the math; I could accept a call for a class within 5 days of it starting and be ready to go (tired, but ready to go). As long as I could get the movers in and out of my apartment in a day-- and let's face it, I'm a broke college-age student, I don't own THAT much stuff--I'd be packed and ready to go within 24 hours. Two days of driving and I'm in Virginia.

Yes, I've played this scenario out in my head every which way. And I'm really hoping one of my compatriots decides at the last minute that they should wait until the next class, leaving me to swoop in and get called earlier.

I honestly won't miss the job I have now. If I have to tell another educator how to spell "academic" or "education," there is a very real chance I might quit on the spot.

Friday, May 7, 2010

When this apple fell, she rolled far, far from the tree

To sort of run with the last post's topic--of not really being very family-oriented, that is--I sometimes feel as though I ought to give some background as to why I am this way. It's mostly because my family is, well, just plain awful. I don't mind if they were to read this (not that any of them is very literate, especially when it comes to computers), because they've long known I feel this way. Some of them aren't good people, and they are the better ones. Most of them are bad, rotten-to-the-core people. This goes for my immediate as well as extended family members.

I'm writing this because today I found out that my little brother, whom I'd always seen as fairly innocent, if a bit mixed up with the wrong crowd, was arrested for armed robbery on Wednesday night. From what I hear, he knocked over a convenience store with his friend to feed his new drug habit. I don't need to really tell you readers out there that THIS IS A FELONY CHARGE. I know there are some people out there who make good lives for themselves after incarceration for a serious crime like this, but most of them don't. No one wants to hire a convicted felon. His life is going to become mooching off the system and living in a gutter with a needle sticking out of his arm or a collapsed nose from snorting too much coke. Any hopes he had of straightening out his life and going into the armed forces are gone. Great job, kiddo. Way to fuck up your life for the rest of your goddamn life by age 22.

I wish I could say he were an anomaly in my family, but it turns out he's really the rule, not the exception. I'm the exception - the white sheep of the family if you will. I'm the only one without a criminal past, with a steady job, a clean credit report, who has never been into drugs, and has a promising future. My family is filled with drug addicts, alcoholics, pedophiles, thieves, abusers (of women and children), deadbeats, master manipulators and overall scum. The only person I maintain any form of contact with is my father. My six brothers, mother, and countless extended family members aren't to be trusted.

I know I sound angry about the situation, but I'm not. I don't like the people to whom I happen to be related. I actually am so thankful that I didn't turn out that way, and that I have had the good sense since I was "knee-high to a grasshopper" to want to do everything in my power to be better than the people from whom I came. Seriously, I think I'm so incredibly lucky to be who I am, in spite of my background. Things get difficult some days, and I feel overwhelmed. I get upset and wonder sometimes why life seems to be so tough. And then I remember where I come from and where I'm going. So much in my life has sort of fallen into place, thanks to a fortuitous combination of hard work and (a lot of) luck. I really think about it and am amazed: A diplomat in my family? Who on earth would have predicted that?